Quote #51

"Sandra Bullock used to go to the same sorority as one of my buddies, and used to smoke pot and get fucked. The thing is I used to think Sandra Bullock was so cool."
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #50

Adam: "At frat parties, there's so much date rape."
Jeremy: "Yea and those girls know what happened, and they'll be back the very next weekend. They like that type of shit."

Quote #49

"If you're gonna put anything up your nose, it better be a designer drug."
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #48

Adam & Kyle: "You haven't done your taxes yet?"
Jeremy: "No man. It's the government. Fuck them. They can suck my dick."

Quote #47

"They have really good cafeteria food at Virginia Tech."
-Jeremy Chang's reaction to the VT shooting

Quote #46

"...

...

...Instant pussy...what a fucking joke."

-Jeremy Chang, on the phone

Quote #45

"You know, I have this theory...that most music industry girls are just dirty groupies, in disguise."
-Jeremy Chang, on his female co-workers

Quote #44

"It's hard to turn down free alcohol. It's like having a skanky woman naked in front of you, asking for some dick."
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #43

"You should only have regrets if you impregnate a dirty bitch."
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #42

"It smelled like a thousand corpses and a sack of assholes thrown in an oven."
-Jeremy Chang's description of a clogged toilet

Quote #41

"It's OK to pee in the ocean...a whale turd is like 18 pounds."
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #40

"There's only so much juice you can get from a frozen grape."
-Jeremy Chang on the manufacturing of ice wine.

Quote #39

"Do you mind if I pee in your backyard?"
-Jeremy Chang's request at a house-warming party.

Quote #38

"Every time I would squeeze it, it would shit...so, I would always squeeze the shit out of it."
-Jeremy Chang, when referring to a pet hamster of his

Quote #37

"I'm not partaking in it. You can butt-fuck all you want but, I don't want to."
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #36

"I feel sorry for lesbians. Everybody wants to be friends with a gay guy, but no one wants to hang out with a lesbian"
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #35

"If I take a random chick home, I don't fucking care about her. I just want to bust a nut...I am a good guy."
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #34

"I'd rather pull out, rip that shit off, and throw it in her mouth"
-Jeremy Chang on using condoms

Quote #33

"Girls get really upset if you concentrate on anything other than them. Like if you pick up a remote"
-Jeremy Chang on receiving oral sex

Quote #32

"I said let's throw a party. We'll open up all 3 floors, spray paint the basement and turn it into a heroin den!"
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #31

"The only way I could possibly have sex with her, is if I died with a boner and she jumped on top of me"
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #30

Conway: "It was really good."
Jeremy: "Really?"
Conway: "Yeah."
Jeremy: "Wait...really good? or pussy good?"

Quote #29

"This girl Katie is just begging for some dick."
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #28

"I hate bums. Well, the regular ones are okay. But, I hate the smelly ones."
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #27

"I have great communication skills...

...

...

...

...I like money."
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #26

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Quote #25

"I feel like I'm selling cigarettes to a 12-year-old...this is ridiculous."
-Jeremy Chang's take on working a recent Doghouse Records release.

Quote #24

"I know it's hard to understand things like emo and terrorism, but it's out there. There are people out there who want to hurt us."
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #23

"Are you guys talking about wet dreams?...I don't think there's such thing. It's one of those educational myths they tell you in school...like 'smoking pot is bad for you.'"
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #22

"Someone was telling me that online poker sites support terrorism. I was like 'fuck you...I'm playing poker.'"
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #21

"I could strap a microphone to a toilet and make a better album...with my ass!"
-Jeremy Chang's take on a recent Doghouse Records release.

Quote #20

"I guess it depends on the kid...sometimes you gotta smack the shit out of em. I don't advocate spanking though"
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #19

"I totally understand. I know what a gang bang is."
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #18

Adam: "Ray Davies is coming to the office...I'm sorta giddy"
Jeremy: "Yea, I'm giddy too"
Kyle: "Do you like The Kinks?"
Jeremy: "No, not really"

Quote #17

"When I'm pushing and I feel pressure on the back of their neck...then I know they're not into it"
-Jeremy Chang on receiving oral sex

Quote #16

"Is there a button over there you guys can push to just you know...make things work"
-Jeremy Chang, when talking with Tech Support to fix a virus on his computer

Quote #15

"Isn't there someone famous named Dick Parker?...game show host?"
-Jeremy Chang trying to remember the name Bob Barker

Quote #14

"2007 has been awesome. All my friends have been getting divorced and have all this drama and shit."
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #13

"For $700 you can get 700 blowjobs, snort all the coke you want for an hour."
-Jeremy Chang, on I have no idea what.

Quote #12

"So...I was watching Star Wars on TV last night, and I realized something. Those Jedi are a lot like people in Williamsburg. Jedi would make really good hipsters, with the way they dress and their bullshit intellectual talk."
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #11

Adam: "He drove around shit-faced for 3 nights."
Jeremy: "That's awesome."

Quote #10

I tried to sign up for a free Xbox and all I got was a billion junk e-mails."
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #9

"Have you listened to this?"
-Jeremy Chang, asking Adam Rubenstein if he's listened to Adam Dove

Quote #8

"Awww...so you're not going to be pounding any shit tonight?"
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #7

"What?!? Can you like...eat a dick?!?"
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #6

"I can smell it when they're in heat."
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #5

"If she can't even walk through a puddle, how's she gonna pick up a pot & cook some shit!"
-Jeremy Chang

Quote #4

"I've tried to help them out with their marriage. I got them a few divorce counselors."
-Jeremy Chang, when referring to his friend's marriage and what he can do to help

Quote #3

"I don't like to think in terms of we. I like to think in terms of me and pot."
-Jeremy Chang, when stating why he doesn't want to get into a relationship

Quote #2

"They're all impressionable, retarded, and drunk."
-Jeremy Chang, when referring to college freshman girls hooking up with college seniors.

Quote #1

"Man, all bitches got fucking attitude."
-Jeremy Chang